Since I became a christian, as an adult, I tried to be active in my church. When we lived in Franklin, I was very active. However, since we moved back to Tennessee in Dec. 2008, I have really slacked in that area. Within the last year, I found a fantastic church and joined it. BUT, I have failed to become as active I was previously. I rarely attend Sunday School, went to choir practice ONCE (never been up there during service), attended a couple of Wednesday night exercise classes, and attended a fair event last August. Other than that, I have been non-involved. I sign up for classes, then never take them. I have purchased some of the books that have been the subject of study...I have only really started one of them.
This leads me to my current issue. I feel like I am missing something in my life...I know it is my church activity. Part of the reason that I haven't been involved had to do with being busy with work, school, family, etc. But, if I am being honest with myself, I haven't been active because I have chosen not to be. I have allowed "other things" to be more important than my church life. That part stinks for me. If you knew me when I lived in Franklin, you knew that I was VERY involve in my church and God was of utmost importance...and it showed. Since moving here, while those close to me know I am a christian, I do not feel that I let Him shine like I should.
What would letting Him shine look like?! Heck, I don't know, but I don't want people to have to question if I am a Christian...or where I stand. I want people to instantly know that I am a daughter of the King and that I love Him. I miss the church fellowship that I had, the closeness with others within the church, the women's groups, choir fellowship, the "comfortableness" when I was there. I had the same feeling when I walked into my current church as I did when I walked into my old one. It felt like home...where I was meant to be. But, I haven't let it show.
So, I read this bible verse this morning...
Given the recent past on-goings with former friends, this verse made me really think. A lot has happened, and He has been the truth I have looked to and stood on. He has helped me to be more me than ever, and I have not let it show. I fear the Lord, and I want it to show.
I HAVE to be more involved in my church and quit making excuses as to why I shouldn't go or be more involved. I hate feeling like I am a "back-burner christian". And, that is currently what/who I am. I NEVER wanted to be that person...
So, with all of this said...I am revealing to the world that I am and have been a slacker in my Christian walk. I hate it and I am GOING to make the changes that I have to make. Call me out when I am not acting as I should...but please do it in a non-judgmental manner...just remind me of this post.
Please know that when I have told you or tell you that I would pray for you, I did/will. I have never been disconnected in that manner. Mine is just that I think I have placed my desired church life in the back...not where it needs to be or where I want it to be (in my life). I have never let go of God or not let Him show...there are just times when I didn't ALLOW Him to show due to my situations. I ask from all of my friends...wherever you are...please help me to be accountable in my desires. I know that He gives me strength, but I also know that he places people in my life to help me through things.
Lord, I come to you, as I have in the past, and thank you for all of the many blessings you placed on and in me. Please forgive me when I have not been as thankful or didn't see the blessings as such. Today, I ask that you bind my wondering heart to thee, Lord. I want the world to see You in me and allow You to shine. I want to be a child of yours that is able to set the world on fire for you. Help me. Guide me. Be my only source of light in a dark world. Lord, help me to be still to feel and get to know you more. And, let me be still long enough to hear your desires for me. Lord, I cannot put into words the way you make me feel, and I thank you for that. Convict me where and when you see fit. Help my heart to heal, but break it for what you want me to see. I love you, Lord. Thank you for your son. In Jesus' wonderful name, Amen!
I placed the link to my church above, but here it is again. The Glade Church
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