Since I became a christian, as an adult, I tried to be active in my church. When we lived in Franklin, I was very active. However, since we moved back to Tennessee in Dec. 2008, I have really slacked in that area. Within the last year, I found a fantastic church and joined it. BUT, I have failed to become as active I was previously. I rarely attend Sunday School, went to choir practice ONCE (never been up there during service), attended a couple of Wednesday night exercise classes, and attended a fair event last August. Other than that, I have been non-involved. I sign up for classes, then never take them. I have purchased some of the books that have been the subject of study...I have only really started one of them.
This leads me to my current issue. I feel like I am missing something in my life...I know it is my church activity. Part of the reason that I haven't been involved had to do with being busy with work, school, family, etc. But, if I am being honest with myself, I haven't been active because I have chosen not to be. I have allowed "other things" to be more important than my church life. That part stinks for me. If you knew me when I lived in Franklin, you knew that I was VERY involve in my church and God was of utmost importance...and it showed. Since moving here, while those close to me know I am a christian, I do not feel that I let Him shine like I should.
What would letting Him shine look like?! Heck, I don't know, but I don't want people to have to question if I am a Christian...or where I stand. I want people to instantly know that I am a daughter of the King and that I love Him. I miss the church fellowship that I had, the closeness with others within the church, the women's groups, choir fellowship, the "comfortableness" when I was there. I had the same feeling when I walked into my current church as I did when I walked into my old one. It felt like home...where I was meant to be. But, I haven't let it show.
So, I read this bible verse this morning...
Given the recent past on-goings with former friends, this verse made me really think. A lot has happened, and He has been the truth I have looked to and stood on. He has helped me to be more me than ever, and I have not let it show. I fear the Lord, and I want it to show.
I HAVE to be more involved in my church and quit making excuses as to why I shouldn't go or be more involved. I hate feeling like I am a "back-burner christian". And, that is currently what/who I am. I NEVER wanted to be that person...
So, with all of this said...I am revealing to the world that I am and have been a slacker in my Christian walk. I hate it and I am GOING to make the changes that I have to make. Call me out when I am not acting as I should...but please do it in a non-judgmental manner...just remind me of this post.
Please know that when I have told you or tell you that I would pray for you, I did/will. I have never been disconnected in that manner. Mine is just that I think I have placed my desired church life in the back...not where it needs to be or where I want it to be (in my life). I have never let go of God or not let Him show...there are just times when I didn't ALLOW Him to show due to my situations. I ask from all of my friends...wherever you are...please help me to be accountable in my desires. I know that He gives me strength, but I also know that he places people in my life to help me through things.
Lord, I come to you, as I have in the past, and thank you for all of the many blessings you placed on and in me. Please forgive me when I have not been as thankful or didn't see the blessings as such. Today, I ask that you bind my wondering heart to thee, Lord. I want the world to see You in me and allow You to shine. I want to be a child of yours that is able to set the world on fire for you. Help me. Guide me. Be my only source of light in a dark world. Lord, help me to be still to feel and get to know you more. And, let me be still long enough to hear your desires for me. Lord, I cannot put into words the way you make me feel, and I thank you for that. Convict me where and when you see fit. Help my heart to heal, but break it for what you want me to see. I love you, Lord. Thank you for your son. In Jesus' wonderful name, Amen!
I placed the link to my church above, but here it is again. The Glade Church
blessed
excited
But it is just temporary so we can handle it!
indescribable
peaceful
How do you do this?? you know how when rains for a few days and suddenly the sun pops through a cloud and it instantly makes you feel better? thats you Racheal, your hope, your optimism, your silver lining, is just a beauty to behold, as I sit in this valley wondering how to get out, I see you sitting at the top and I know I can climb again, I know how much you loved Shelly from all the things you did to help her, so I know my pain is only equal to yours which lets me know I can overcome it, I like that instead of dwelling on her being gone , you think of her as she is, happy in heaven, where theirs no more tears no more pain, youve learned a great lesson, how to move forward, Gods still working on me with this, but he set you in front of me and said , see my child it can be done. Thank you Racheal for taking of Shelly when she was sick, for taking on so much, with so much already on you as a wife and mother, for everyday that you watch over J.B. and help lead him and guide him ultimitely it will be you who influcenes him the most, you are his female role model, who he looks to for comfort and looks to as the standard for his own wife, we labor on earth to build our homes in heaven, I know your mansion will be a sight to behold, by your works on this Earth....
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4 years ago