Changes = :(

I feel like I have so many good things that are happening in my life, but yet, I seem to be concentrating on the stress. So much is changing...or has changed.

I have recently taken on a new TEACHING position...WOOOHOOO!!!

But, there is so much chaos with that...putting a classroom together...getting things organized...meeting everyone I will work with...paperwork...etc.

I have to go back to school in January to start my practicum because I chose to forego student teaching. It will be a year long practicum.

We are moving...our lease is up, but my mom has asked us to move in with them to help offset some of their bills and to reduce ours. They previously lived with my Mema...and they still live in her house, but my Mema is really sick and will not be coming back home. This move has caused me the most stress recently. This is due in=part with the fact that S does not want to move in with them. The great thing about us moving is that the house we are moving into has 3 bedrooms and two bathrooms. It also has an apartment...which is where my mom lives. The only shared space will be the kitchen.

I have so much on my mind...I can't even out it all out "there". Not that there is anything wrong or bad, but that my mind is so full.

All of this stuff has me feeling the worst I have felt in a long time...on the plus side, they upped my meds and i haven't had any rise in my migraines. Only 5 this past month. They were all in a little over a weeks time...thinking it might be due to my cycle.

I want to feel connected with S like we have been previously. I want him to feel better, but I want our relationship back where it has previously been. I know that him feeling better will allow for progress...and I know that he lacks the ability, currently, to have a say in that progress, but I want it so bad for him...and me...and the kiddos.

Why can't things in life be a little easier sometimes? Why does pain have to cut so deep? Why do I not have all of the answers? LOL