Let me give you a little of my back ground...or at least who I am now. I am a late 20 something happily married mom of 2 kiddos. I am a Christian and an very strong in my faith and in the God I serve. I am currently working in the school system where I live and an in college (for the second time) to get my degree in education. Up until recently felt like I had a very tight group of ladies that I was 100 % close with. The problem is that I am a bit of a talker and have never really been shy about my thought, but lately I have really started being more of an observer. I have started shutting myself off to several of those people...the thought is that if they were true friends then they will always be there...after several months of this behavior on my part I have found that it seems I was the "glue" to the relationship and when I stopped calling them I never heard from them. That makes me even more shut off because I then start to wonder what I am doing wrong.
My whole life I had always been told I was one of the "total package" people...Not that I am glad of that fact, but being in that classification always made me feel like I would always have "close friends". What I mean by the "total package" person is that I am not stupid, can carry on a great conversation and hold my own, I am not bad looking, I am outgoing, and am not afraid to speak my mind, but am always respectful (or at least try to be as best as possible), I have never met a stranger and I am always willing to help someone out when needed...even if I have never met them before. I am not "partier", I am more of a homebody, I love my family, I am a lover not a fighter, but I am a fighter in life, I am devoted...if you make it into my circle I will always be your friend...I have also lived a lot of life in my short years. (I will go into that at a later date.)
I have found out some things about myself. Here are some things I love:
- my faith: my God is so wonderful and I can never dream to imagine the love he has for me.
- Jesus Christ: I can never love him as much as He loves me and that is okay with him.
- my husband: we are so opposite of each other, but it works. I am more in love with him today than I was when we got married. He accepts me when I don't accept myself..whether I know it or now he knows the real me.
- my children, innocent and beautiful: The bring joy to me when I least expect it...even if I don't show it all of the time.
- my family: the love has not always been unconditional from them, but it has gotten better...I really love them and I hope they know it.
- music...it is my passion. I have never said it like that before. It is the by far the true expression for how I feel.
- children: they are the future and I want to be a part of their future. I want to make an impact where no one else ever has. I love the hugs they give and love they feel from me.
- to praise God
- kisses from my hubby
- hugs and kisses from my kiddos
- to hear my children pray and praise God
- to see someone come to Christ
- softball
- dancing
- singing
- christian music
- alternative music
- to dress up
- converse tennis shoes
- snow
- video games
- home decorating
- to make other people happy
- to give even when I have nothing left to give
- the beach
- school
- pizza
- mac and cheese
- black and white pictures
- to feel wanted
- ice cream
- fireworks
- grass between my toes
- camping
- smores
- fall
- the list goes on....
- not knowing who I am...
No comments:
Post a Comment